


Wraith and Mirage do a prank

by tipplerdoeswords



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: Don't Try This At Home, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 09:23:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17895824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tipplerdoeswords/pseuds/tipplerdoeswords
Summary: After a long day of scrims, Mirage and Wraith decide to bamboozle Caustic's lab.





	Wraith and Mirage do a prank

**Author's Note:**

> Remember kids, wear safety glasses and closed-toe footwear in the lab. Tie your hair back, don't dangle any jewelry or clothing, and dispose of hazardous waste in the appropriately marked container.

“Are you sure this is going to work?” said Wraith.

Mirage nodded vigorously.  They were on a deserted street a few miles from the arena headquarters. After a long day of scrims and mingling with the other legends, Wraith had wanted to walk to her Apex Legends official housing and collapse on a futon. But Mirage had other ideas.

“You just portal us into the lab, we relabel a few containers, put salt in his sugar bowl, snap some pictures of anything embarrassing, and slide right on out.” he said. “It's totally foolproof, Nox is getting wined and dined at the bar. And if anything goes south-wise,” Mirage summoned a grinning hologram. “I’ll give him the ole hol-o-matic and we’ll escape into the night.”

Wraith traced her chin with a purple glowing finger. “You have the gas masks?”

“Got ‘em right here.” Mirage lifted a pair of Bloodhound souvenir masks, outfitted with real filters that he had snagged from one of the Legends’ practice rooms.

Wraith took hers and slid it over her head. The cheap rubber caught on her hair and tugged some strands loose from her bun.  

“And if we find any prisoners.” she said, voice muffled.

“We set ‘em free right away, no hesitation.” said Mirage. “Then get some revenge on the field tomorrow.”

Mirage’s idea of revenge was probably tame compared to what Wraith had in mind. He was too easy on people. Pathfinder, the scouting robot Wraith had befriended today, was just as optimistic but far more trigger happy. Maybe they could team up to get vengeance.

“Okay.” said Wraith. The voice in her head was silent, which she took as a good sign. “I’m going in.”

Mirage flashed her a thumbs up as he tugged on his own mask. Wraith took a deep breath and stepped into the other dimension. She sprinted towards a building a few hundred yards away, the world a blur of grey tones and distorted sounds. Mirage had learned Caustic’s address from Bloodhound, who knew where everyone was staying, somehow, in exchange for a few hours of babysitting their raven.

Wraith made her way down to the basement, which was barred by an impressive steel door. Wraith furrowed her brow and pressed forward with her outstretched hand. It sank through the metal and the rest of Wraith followed. She emerged with an interdimensional pop from the other side.

She opened an exit portal and stepped into the lab, blinking in the sudden, sterile light. It brought back bad memories of memories.

_Danger…_

Wraith was still checking for gas traps and hidden cameras when Mirage came hurtling through the portal. He stumbled to regain his footing, and then scratched the forehead of his mask with a gloved hand as he took in the test benches, vials, and distillation equipment.

“Looks like Bloodhound was right. I was wondering where Caustic was getting all his supplies. He must be making stuff in house.” Mirage said.  He and Wraith had been on the receiving end of a few gas canisters recently, which had prompted Mirage’s prank idea.

“Hey, if the guy’s as smart as he says he is, it shouldn’t be a problem if we prank him.” Mirage had eagerly told Wraith. “At best we’ll have an easier time fighting him and at worst he’ll get really annoyed.” Wraith had to admit, it had been a compelling argument.

Mirage opened a few white cabinets, tutted at the stained fume hood, and started taking out amber containers of powder.

“Nothing bad will happen if I mix sulfur and phosphorus, right?” he said, already moving spoonfuls of yellow chunks into another container. Wraith rolled her eyes. They had better be out of here before Mirage burned the building down. The whispery voice in the back of her mind was getting louder.

“Let’s just rotate these gas tanks.” Mirage muttered, heaving around a series of cylinders chained to a pillar. “Tweak the valves, annnnnd…I’m good! Let’s go check out his personal stuff.”

They went through a side door to a simple kitchen. While the lab looked brand new, the kitchen was worn. Mirage riffled through the fridge and mixed up the condiments. He filled the half-empty milk carton with water and poured half of it out. After looking through the drawers for the silverware, he hid all the spoons under the sink.

Wraith watched, disappointment and a hint of a smile on her face.

“Some people might consider this malicious intent.” she said, as Mirage put the finishing touches on his masterpiece.

Mirage looked up at her, puppy dog eyes rendered ineffective by the reflective lenses of the mask.

“This guy literally did an evil anime laugh at me today, Wraith. Arms outstretched and everything. I’m trying to keep him humble.”  Mirage said, as he stood up from the floor. “Let’s see if he has any death metal posters. Or lingerie.”

Wraith followed Mirage down a narrow hallway, stopping to drag him away from the bathroom so he couldn’t put hot sauce on the toilet.

The prickling sense of danger was still there. Wraith shook her head. They could portal out anytime. Home turf advantage didn’t matter when you had teleportation powers.

“Ohohoho.” chuckled Mirage, as they came into the bedroom. The plain mattress on the floor was unmade, and scattered paper notes were strewn across the desk. But the star of the room was a glowing holoscreen that had hundreds of pictures connected in line spaghetti worthy of an IMC conspiracy theorist.

 “There’s me.” said Mirage, pointing with a finger at a small image labeled “Annoying”. The Elliot Witt in the photo was giving a huge grin. Wraith smirked as she scanned the screen. All of the legends were accounted for, including herself.

“Let’s play a drinking game of how many times he labels someone ‘insect’.” said Wraith.

Mirage shook his head sadly. “Do you want us to die of alcohol poisoning? Also, I put a lot of vinegar in his booze. He’s gonna get…Bam-boozled.”

They didn’t spend much time in the bedroom, which was devoid of any sex toys, to Mirage’s disappointment.

“Alright, let’s head out.” said Wraith. It had been a really long day and the longer she stayed the more likely they would get caught.

“Not even one literal skeleton in the closet.” sighed Mirage, as they made their way back to the lab. “Guess he’s getting enough kicks out in the arena.”

Wraith shivered. “Don’t remind me. Did you know he asked me to be on his squad the other day?”

Mirage slapped the side of his mask in horror. “Oh my God. Did he say something like you both knew the embrace of darkness or something?”

“Basically.” grimaced Wraith. “Anyway, I’m about to portal, stand back.”

They made it out without any problem. Mirage took the masks and say goodnight to Wraith.

“Thanks for being my partner in crime.” He said as he waved goodbye. “Don’t shoot me tomorrow!”

 

The next day, Wraith noticed Caustic walking stiffly.

“I thought I stopped you from doing the hot sauce thing.” she muttered to Mirage as they clambered up the mock terrain.

“You forgot who you were dealing with.” Mirage grinned.

 

 


End file.
